SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: September 12, 2021 Edition

Read more on this subject: Humor
Opinion Column by John Semmens
Angry President Demands Obedience

An angry President Biden took to the airwaves to announce new marching orders for America. Despite the fact that far less than 1% of the population has been felled by COVID, 70% of the adult population having been vaccinated, and an unknown, but probably large percentage of the unvaccinated having natural immunity to the virus, the President unveiled a nation-wide mandate to force more people to take the vaccine.

"I've urged everyone to get vaccinated, but a distinct minority have refused to take my advice," Biden complained. "My patience is wearing thin. If people won't make the right decision voluntarily it is my obligation to take the decision out of their hands—as I had to do numerous times when my young sons Beau and Hunter got uppity with me and defiantly disobeyed my good advice. Accordingly, I am ordering all federal employees to take the vaccination. I am ordering all businesses with of 100 or more employees
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