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Opinion Column by Menckens Ghost
Elizabeth Warren announced yesterday that she shares 98% of her genes with chimpanzees.
President Trump immediately announced that he'd give a million bucks to the National Zoo if she could verify this with a genetic test.
Harvard University followed with an announcement that in keeping with its legacy admission policy of admitting the offspring of graduates who were chimps—as the school of undeserved renown did with the offspring of Ted Kennedy—any of Warren's grandchildren would get preference over Asians who have higher SAT scores and better accomplishments.
Yale University, not to be outdone, said it would do the same and listed all of the legacy chimps who have graduated from the school and gone into the highest levels of the U.S. government, where they speeded the nation's decline with horrible policies, such as legacy chimp George W. Bush's invasion of Iraq.
Georgetown University responded that the chimps from the other universities can
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