He has a basic, decent, human fairness
and decency about him; he doesn’t change. What you see is what you
get. He has character. Right is right, wrong is wrong.
by Molly Price
You write much about the relationships between men and women. After two failed relationships and a swearing off of men altogether to live a happy single life, Bill —– of Four Oaks, NC, crossed my path when I was 52 and he was 57; we had each been single for 18 years of our adult lives.
When he asked me out, I had absolutely no desire to go out with him. He didn’t fit my chosen, cultural, fleshly image/ideal of 6′ 2″, tall, dark and handsome. He was maybe five foot nine or ten and had the slopingest shoulders I’d ever seen. He also sometimes wore overalls!
He asked me out on Valentine’s Day, and I said, NO, because I had been married once on Valentine’s Day, to my second husband, and it was, for me, even more painful than the first marriage, if that could be possible–another masonic dolt with despicable values–[oh, and yes, my first husband had masonic connections. I remember him mentioning DeMolay.]–I could not let him influence my children that way, against the Biblical way I was trying to raise them. My chldren were my treasure in life….
Both of my former marriages ended in adultery–and that not on my part. Was I clueless? Probably, but I haven’t been willing to play a lot of games to either gain or keep a husband.
Self-reliance is not a bad thing, Henry. It has it’s place! One cannot go about depending on a spouse or requiring a spouse to get or keep one happy. One has God and HE IS ENOUGH! HE REALLY IS! It is quite stupid, actually, to depend on any human being anywhere to get or to keep us happy….
I went out with Bill and was struck by his beautiful humility. It was so foreign to the arrogance I had known in other men. But, I wasn’t really impressed til he came in and met my son, J.
J. didn’t like ANYONE! He was quite a crotchety kid, but he liked Bill for some reason. That made me take another look at Bill. What did J. see that I didn’t see?
Well, I’ve been looking at that man for fifteen years now! Here’s what I came to know and see. He is GOOD. He has a basic, decent, human fairness and decency about him; he doesn’t change. What you see is what you get. He has character. Right is right, wrong is wrong. He has focus, intent, and purpose. He is quiet and respectful, but he can be deliciously funny with a right-on-target bon mot. He thinks he isn’t smart, but he’s the smartest man I’ve ever met. He still thinks a “formal education” makes one smart. I say, intelligence is God-given. We either have it and use it or we don’t. It has nothing to do with a formal education as far as I’ve ever seen in this life!
Bill has a barn; he can fix cars and restore tractors. He can even create with the tools in his barn new parts! He can grow and plant a garden and does. When the window gears in our car broke, he replaced them, saving us $400.00. He can wire electricity, plumb, and build furniture. He can weld. The man also cooks his own meals! He cooks Southern and I don’t even eat Southern! He bakes great cakes, too! Only, that had to stop when I was the only one eating them.
He doesn’t clean, though, so that’s probably the only reason I still can get a foot in the door. I occasionally break from my studying to neaten things up or wash dishes, sweep the floors, water the plants, change bed linens, wash clothes, etc. Not a bit hard with a dishwasher and washer and dryer, my in-house servants! I often wonder why he keeps me around. I’m not much earthly good.
He isn’t rich. He grew up in a log cabin built by hand by his father. There was no indoor plumbing, and there wasn’t any money. He was barefoot all summer long, and hunted in the swamps and creeks of the rural South. Because he had no money for toys, he came home and created them, built them for himself, after what he’d seen in the stores. He is still a dead-eye shot with a gun or sling-shot.
Some women look for security in a man with a lot of money in the bank. I learned a long time ago that money in the bank was actually pretty worthless. I look for security in a man with survival skills. I could live under a tarp on a creek bank with this man and we would be fine.
I am hardly the feminine ideal, yet this man consents to live with me, year after year. He should be cloned, I think! I have so many single women friends who have no one like Bill in their lives. There just aren’t that many Bills left in this world! One friend I am crying for now. Her husband has reverted to homosexuality. She is clueless. I hate to be the one to tell her….but…I may have to. We women can be really clueless.
Another point. Something God said, and Henry Wright stresses. “My people perish for lack of knowledge,” and “My people go into captivity for lack of knowledge.”